Sacrifice

This whole process has been a process of sacrifice. Our boys are in this situation because at the core of their disease one was sacrificing itself for the other. Nate and I have sacrificed, our families, friends and church family have all sacrificed. Sometimes it's joyful and sometimes it has been hard.
This word and theme have been resonating in my mind lately. It has shown up in lots of ways over the past few days.
Every time I hear a knock on room Y330's door and a friendly face comes in the room, I am humbled at the sacrifice it took for them to get here. I think about the gas money, the parking money, and time and energy to come and see me. I have had some many faithful friends come. My college roommates and their family have been here every week. They all live in Houston but let's remember Houston is huge! They drive 45 minutes to an hour, find babysitters for their kids, take time off of work all to come sit and play games with me. Their parents have washed my clothes, brought me food and this great computer, and brought Nate to and from the hospital so he didn't have to pay for parking.
Last week I was surprised by my grandma, mom, sister and sister-in-law who drove spontaneously from Dallas to see me for a night. They had to do something with their kids, husbands and put up with each other for a long 5 hour drive!
People I have met once from Nate's office have come to see me. Church staff, students from the church (which I know means their parent's sacrificed to either bring them or let them drive downtown!), and friends. Every time I am amazed.
Yesterday I was blessed with visitors ALL day...it was great. Some of my sweet friends from church came. One of the ladies in the group brought me a really funny card that inside had a precious note as well as some money for Nate and I (if you are reading this, I hope you don't mind I am sharing...there is a point!). I was blown away by her generosity. It is expensive driving down here and parking every night.
I got a call later that afternoon from Nate. We have been trying to be conscious with our spending since we don't even have a ball park guess of how much all of this will cost. He called me to tell me a story. He was out running errands and came out of a store where he saw a man leaning up against a truck. He knew this man was going to ask for money and sure enough he did, but for gas money. He said he was on his way home to Conroe from Indiana and was on fumes. So Nate told the man to follow him to the gas station and he would get him some gas. As Nate drove there he was thinking to himself, "How much should I give him? $10 - that is only 2 tanks of gas...$20? Maybe I should just fill it up all of the way." So when he got there that is just what he did. He pumped this guy's gas and filled his tank all the way.
Nate called me on his way home to ask me if it was okay that he had spent money doing that. I got to tell him that not only was it OK, but what he didn't know was that while he was doing that, someone was giving us something as well. What we had received ended up being twice as much as what Nate had given. God is so faithful.

I also think about sacrifice every night when I see my sweet husband come and sleep on this skinny old green couch in my room. Thank goodness he is so "lean" (that is what he calls it, I call it skinny!). We are also thankful it's long enough! But he comes in every night with his sack lunch and back pack. He gets here around 6:30pm and is here until about 6:30 every morning. I tell him every day that he doesn't have to come. That he can stay at home. And every time I say that he tells me that the boys and I are his priority, and that there is no where else he would rather be. I know this has to be wearing on him. He works all day, washes clothes and does chores at lunch and then comes to get an alright night of sleep. He does this for me, I know. He wants to encourage me and let me know I am not alone through this.

I also think of a conversation I had with a friend of mine from Charlotte a few weeks ago. She too just had a baby, and she was on bed rest for a significant part of her pregnancy. Right after my surgery we were both on bed rest and talking one day and she said, "Kim, I just view this as a way we are all serving each other by sacrificing for each other. Nate is serving you by taking care of you, and you are serving your babies by doing what is best for them." I pray that one day they will serve others through sacrificing for them.

All of this makes me think of the scripture in Matthew 25. Jesus is telling parables and he talks about when God the Father will separate the sheep from the goats. Salvation comes from believing in Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us. It comes from grace and that alone. Nothing we can do. However, when we fully understand the grace that we have received and we can comprehend the sacrifice that was for us the way we look should change. Our actions should change. We should be identifiable with Christ by our actions. In the parable Jesus is telling, God the Father separates the goats and sheep based on what they did.

Matthew 25:35-36.
"35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."

Maybe we can replace the end of verse 36 from being in prison to being on bed rest in the hospital. I am pretty sure they are really close to the same, but I digress:).

What I think I appreciate about this verse more now than ever before is that what the believers did was what was needed right then. Not what was convenient to them. They just did it. So many times we have great intentions and we really want to help and do things...but we allow other things to get in the way. The junk of our ever day lives that get in the way of the ministry that God has set right before us. We are usually doing so many things that it is hard for us to stop and follow the model that Christ set for us - the model of sacrifice.

I looked up some synonyms of sacrifice and found these words - forfeit, forgo, give.
I was also given a great poem about waiting by a friend of mine. I don't know who wrote it, but the last three lines of it are the following:

Waiting is letting go of control, wishes, wants, desires, plans
it's accepting what God has in store
opening hands to accept good gifts

When we have a sacrificial attitude in our lives. When we walk around willing to forfeit, forgo and give of ourselves and what we want and what we have time for, we sometimes end up waiting on God to fulfill what we need or have given up in that time. But I love the end of this poem because it shows that we can't really receive it until our hands are empty. The only way they get empty is to sacrifice, forfeit, forgo what we were holding onto in the first place.