Thursday, February 26, 2009

Now that the day is over...

I have gained perspective and know it wasn't the worst day ever...just the nastiest:)

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Worst day ever...

Oh how I wish I had pictures to post...but I don't so you will just have to imagine with me in your mind's eye.
Today Owen had a follow up appointment with a specialist in The Woodlands. Last time we went, we had lunch with Nate and then I took Blake to Aunt Holly's and just Owen to the appointment. Well for today's visit because of the time of the appointment, I decided to still have lunch with Daddy, but to take both boys to the appointment. We always go the three of us to their normal doctors why not this one?
At the end of lunch I noticed that both boys were doing some, well, business. I was going to change them at the restaurant, but there was no where to change a baby. So I thought, I will just change them at the doctors. We got to the doctors 20 minutes early, I went in and straight to a bathroom...again, no where to change a baby. I went where to change a baby. So I just checked us in thinking I would change them once in the room. We waited and waited. The boys were way overdue for a nap and so after about 30 minutes began to get a little fussy. First it was Blake so I took him out of the stroller to stretch. Another 15 minutes pass and then Owen gets REALLY fussy. So when I take him out I realize he has pooped completely out of his pants all up his back. Well, like I said, no where to change a baby. So I just wiped up what was on his back and wrapped a burp clothe around his waist thinking, surely it will just be a few more minutes. A few more minutes pass, but this time, no one called us, only Blake got upset again. So I picked him up to see that he too had pooped up his back! Seriously! Then a lady looks at me and says, "I bet you didn't think it would be this hard when you decided to have two." Decided! Like we went to the grocery store to pick them out! By this time it was 2pm and our appointment was 40 minutes late. I went to the nurses desk to ask if there was a place to change their diapers to which I was told no, but that there was a bathroom out in the hall. So I had to go out there, LAY MY BABIES ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR, and change two NASTY diapers. You can only imagine how long this took...a good fifteen minutes.
I finally go back in to be told, "They will be right back to get you." I soon realized I had missed our name being called all the while they were putting out a note that said that our doctor was over an hour behind. The waiting room had filled and there was no where to sit. Both boys were completely exhausted and just wanted to sleep so they were crying and only wanted to be held. So here I am holding 35lbs of baby standing up while people just stare at me because I have crying babes. I was so mad I was just glaring at everyone who looked our way.
At 2:25, an hour and five minutes after our appointment we were finally called back. I got the boys out to realize that Owen had pooped ALL OVER his car seat, on his bottle, I mean everywhere. So I began trying to clean it as best as I could. A few minutes later the doctor comes in, lays O down, says, "yep, he's doing great. See you in 6 months." And leaves the room. WHAT!??!?!
I was so angry and so determined to run out of there with out paying a copay...luckily for them they didn't charge me. And we finally left 2 hours later with babies screaming rolling out of there office.
The only redemption in all of this was getting home and the boys had napped and woke up looking at me with big grins...
I guess since they are almost 8 months old it's high time I had a poop covered adventure.
Now off to clean the car seat.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sweet, Sweet, Sweet

A few sweet things that have been happening lately:

1.) My sweetie, Nate, and I finally had a weekend together where he didn't have to work. Friday night was my night. For Valentines Day I recreated some "firsts". Our first date we had sushi. So I got all of the fixin's for us to make sushi at home...that's was so fun. We made crunchy shrimp rolls, spicy tuna rolls, and crab and avocado rolls...and they were DELICIOUS! We got to rollin' after the boys went to sleep. Then we ate some hot fudge cake. He made that for me our first Valentines together. Then we watched Friday Night Lights (the TV show) that has no significance other that we love that show. Check out all the sushi and that wasn't even all of it!

The next night was his night. First he bought me roses...good boy. Second he bought me the prettiest ruby earrings (rubies are the boys birthstone)! WHOA! That is quite the step up from the guy who last year as we were in Kroger handed me $10 and said, "Sweetie, why don't you go get yourself some flowers:)" And he was serious and I refused! Later that night we went on an adventure date to go eat some yummy Greek food at Yia Yia Mary's. It was so delicious! We lived on the edge by trying a lot of stuff we don't normally get...but we sure did get my favorite...HUMMUS! Yum! We even went without the boys and PAID a baby sitter...we are big time.

2.) The boys are really starting to be aware of each other. They adore one another. There have been a lot of moments this past week where one cries and the only thing that soothes him is seeing his little buddy. Makes your heart melt. Well today they were getting RSV shots and Blake went first. As soon as he started crying Owen looked over at him...stuck that bottom lip out and the tears came rollin'! So sad...but so sweet. Buddies for may not be able to tell, but Owen has his arm around Blake.

3.) My long time bestie...Erin had her sweet baby girl, Katelyn Grace last Monday. We got to meet her Tuesday and she is ADORABLE! And Erin is a super mommy already. The boys were excited because now they each can have a girl friend. One can have Payton Heston (Holly and Clee's daughter) and one gets Katelyn.

4.) We got to meet a great couple whose babies also have TTTS last night. They are in town for the surgery which happened yesterday morning. We were able to visit them last night in their hospital and bring them dinner, visit and pray with them. And Yeah God - their babies made it through the first crucial 24 hours.

See...sweetness all around.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Keeping it close to the chest

Every time Nate and I get to venture back to, as Nate puts it, "God's country." I feel like I am in the middle of some country song where the singer reminisces about first kisses, first cigarettes, and killing a deer (not that Nate does). Nate loves to tell me about every "land mark" we pass. I get to hear the same stories over and over and try to give him a grin or a little, "Oh yeah? That happened here? I haven't heard that 100 times before." But between you and me I love seeing his eyes light up when he starts thinking about the past.
Do you ever feel that way? That there are memories you just can't seem to get out of your head? They are brought back to life so quickly through a sight, a word, a smell...
I have been reminded almost every day the past week about our past year with the boys. This past Sunday at church we had a great prayer service during which we prayed for a sweet lady who has cancer. Our Pastor called forward women in the church to gather and pray for her. So I went forward. He then called for anyone who needed healing for themselves or some one close to them to come forward. I then looked up to see the hundreds of people standing symbolically at the altar of the Lord. The man who led us in the prayer prayed for healing but with the understanding of God's sovereignty and faithfulness regardless of the outcome.
Every once in a while I get the chance to meet via email or blogs other mom's who have babies with TTTS. I am so grateful that I get to talk with them. Even if through the only encouragement of sharing my faith in the Lord. In all honesty I was at a complete peace during that traumatic ordeal. I was confidant in knowing that God had Blake and Owen's days numbered - whether or not those days were to only be lived inside of me. I was confidant that God had formed them perfectly (Ps 139) and there was no mistake. I was also confidant there was nothing I could do except accept what God had planned for these little guys lives.
A year ago this month my sweet grandad passed away after a 9 month battle with lung cancer. It was odd being pregnant while at a funeral. Life was gone before me and growing inside of me. However, the most ironic part came a lot later when the boys were sick. God chose to heal the boys, but not my grandad. Why - I don't know. Why - I don't even know if I have the right to ask. Who am I to question how God decides when a persons days here are done. All I know is that while standing at a casket of a man I adored and laying in a hospital bed waiting to see if there were still heart beats...I felt a peace that could only come from the Lord.
My peace was in knowing who God says He is. He is the beginning and the end. He is the author of our faith. He is the great physician. He is our beloved. He is the lover of our soul. He is...
I will take on the risk of sounding like an old country song...reminiscing on my past. If it keeps me close to who God is. I will keep it close to the chest because during that time He kept me close to His.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Why I love my boys...

When I first found out we were having twins I was convinced there would be at least ONE girl in there! When we found out there were two boys, I just starred at the ultrasound picture over and over, not really believing what I saw. And actually I saw nothing - so when I went into my next appointment - I made them prove it to me. My parents reminded me that when I was in high school I used to tell them I was going to have four kids and they would be all boys.

God always knows what He is doing and it so the case with Blake and Owen. I love having boys! A few reasons why: (if you don't like bathroom humor don't read these!)

1.) One night as we were changing Owen he tooted really loud and belly laughed for a good thirty seconds.

2.) Blake peed on his face this morning and that wasn't the first time. And when I realized what had happened...he laughed.

Why i love MY boys:

1.) Owen has been rolling over for a while but he pretty much likes to just laze. This morning he must have been on a sugar high because he was rolling all over the floor. I left the room to change Blake and heard him laughing in the living room. I went back in to find him rolling around all the while going, "OOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh" then a belly laugh. He was rolling so fast it was like he had lost control!

2.) They are both teething and sucking on whatever they can find. Blake's favorite thing - his lip. Look at this face! So cute!

See, I love having boys...or maybe just my boys :)

Monday, February 2, 2009

Great at not being great...

I am currently doing the Beth Moore Bible Study on Esther. I am four days into it and already know I think it's great. This week's title is, "It's tough being a woman in another woman's shadow." One day asked the question, "Is there a woman whom you feel you are always in her shadow?" My answer was not a woman but almost all women.

My whole life I have struggled with the fact that I am not great at anything. I am really good at a lot of things but there is always someone with in my close circle that is a good step ahead of me in all areas. I have some of the most amazing friends and family you could imagine. They are athletic, smart, artistic, creative, wise, good cooks, decorators, disciplined...the list goes on and on. I however used to be summed up in three words in college - loud, fun and friendly. Don't get me wrong those are nice things...but they weren't things that other people aspired for. That list I could go on and on with. For instance, I am really indecisive. I am really stubborn. I am really athletic, at least in my own mind. Erin and I had an ongoing debate in college over who was more athletic. I am pretty sure we both knew it was me:)

However as I was finishing my study this morning I came to a conclusion that I need to constantly remind myself of.

Yesterday we got to dedicate the boys at church. We really were dedicating ourselves to raise the boys as best as we could and point them toward the Lord. As I stood before our congragation next to my sweet beloved husband holding our sweet boys, I was overwhelmed. I may not be great at anything, but I am called to be great at being me.

We had the joy of having family come in this weekend to celebrate with us and sometimes when being held by other the boys would cry. And people would say, "Kim they want you." That was almost a crazy thought to me. But to my boys, I am great. Every day of my life Nate tells me he loves me and how great he thinks I am - and he really means it and I really believe him. To him I am great.

All of this to say I may not be great at being athletic, smart, crafty, creative, artistic, smart, or disciplined, but I am called to be great at being Kim, being Blake and Owen's mommy, Nate's beloved and any other job God calls me to have.