Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Get ready for some transparency!

Nate's work schedule has been CRAZY lately - and when I say crazy I am talking crazy. There have been days where he is going in at 2am and coming home at 6pm. His phone rings off of the hook and he is stressed to the max. Often he comes home and just crashes on the floor and lets the tweedles crawl all over him. He doesn't have energy for much more.
Now to the honest part about me. I am not as wonderful as some would imagine. For some reason the more tired and stressed he gets, the more frustrated I get. I know it doesn't make sense. Especially when he is not taking it out on me. I think I just get worried about him and want to fix things, change things, help...and I can't. So I get the next best thing - mad. I am grateful for God's grace :).

Well, last Sunday after on of Nate's exceptionally hard work weeks, our Pastor introduced a message I was sure was just for him. Before he even began he had us stand in a commitment that we would respond by doing whatever God asked us to do that morning - even before we knew what the message would be about. So I stood next to Nate thinking, "Alright, God, this is it...show him how he should change!" Funny thing is I didn't really know what needed changing, I was just sure Nate did and that I would be the one to support him during that change. Again, grateful for grace!

In short form the message was not for Nate, but for me. We have been studying Joseph all summer and that week of all weeks was on bitterness. He highlighted the part of the story where after years of not seeing each other because they sold him into slavery, Joe's brothers are forced to come back to him, who they don't know is Joseph, and ask for food because of the 7 years of drought. At this point, Joseph had an opportunity to pay them rightfully back for what they had done to him years before, or to extend a hand of grace to them. My man Joe, he chose grace.

Pastor Cox then closed with a story that really got me. He told of a poor minister who had married a well to do southern belle with a promise to her father that he would take care of her. Soon after they wed he started seminary and surprise, surprise became a little strapped for cash. One day he came home and his wife met him at the door. She led him straight into the dining room where she had prepared a candle light dinner. In the middle of the dinner he got up to use the rest room. He entered and flipped the switch to see that the light didn't work. He went into the hall, flipped the switch, and the light didn't work there either. He soon realized that the candlelit dinner was because he had forgotten to pay the electricity bill and their power had been shut off!
But instead of greeting him with the mistakes he had made, she took that moment of bitterness and turned it into a moment of extending grace. WHOA!!!!!!!!!

So there I sat, ready for Nate to change, when God whispered in my heart...Kim, it's you this message is for.
I hate it when that happens!
But oh, so true, people! So just so you know I made good on my end of the deal that Sunday. I responded even though I didn't think I would have to.
I am glad God pours his grace on me and I in turn can pour it on others. I am thrilled to show Nate my love for him in that way.

3 comments:

Erin and Jens said...

So true. Thanks for sharing that. I can imagine how hard it's been for you guys lately.

Mom said...

You two are a dynamic duo! Hang in there, it's so hard when you see the one you love having to go thru really hard times. Nate was there to help you when you were doing bed rest and going thru all the fear and unknown about the babies, isn't it wonderful when God gives us true helpmates to go thru these trials together. Love you both,
Mom

Misty said...

Hey Kim, I have so enjoyed catching up with you and the boys. They are delicious. I had to comment because I can relate more than I'd like to admit. Thanks for sharing!