As I was running this morning, I got a little tickled at a thought. It's very similar raising 4 year old boys and a dog.
Last night I was watching a show and a dog trainer, Cesar Milan, was on. He said to raise a happy, obedient dog you need three things: affection, discipline and exercise. See boy=dog.
While I was running I saw a man walking his dog with no leash. If you know me well, you know that might be my biggest fear. It actually would have been my biggest fear if the owner had not been there. As I ran WAY around him, the owner called out, "don't worry he is really harmless!" I thought to myself- how many times have I said that to some unassuming person at church as my boys come barreling down the hall. The bi-stander looks a little wide eyed and well, terrified, at the unleashed boys just to hear me call down the hall, "Don't worry they won't bite!"
Boy=dog
Except, they aren't totally the same.
As the dog whisperer talked about dog training he kept sept saying things like, "that breed is like that. That breed is known for that."
Wouldn't parenting be easier if I could say, "oh you have a blue eyed, blonde haired boy. Let me generalize and tell you what they are like and how to properly parent them."
But, you see, I have identical twin boys and that theory does not reign true.
One lights up when you tell him good job.
One lights up when you sit on the couch with him and snuggle.
One responds to time out.
One responds to a wooden spoon.
They are different. I thank God that even though they look the same, they aren't. They are special, unique, fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am thankful for that, but it sure makes parenting hard.
I can't generalize. I have to think before I react. I have to be intentional in what I say and do.
I have to figure out why I am trying to get them to do what I am asking them to do. Is it because it is necessary? Or is it because I just decided that was the thing I wanted them to do.
Every night before bed I run through all the "good" things and the "bad" things I did as a mommy that day. (I wish I gave myself more grace!) I always end up with the thought. Who am I trying to raise?! Children who just obey because their mom said?
Dogs? Who simply obey because their master said?
While obedience is of uttermost importance (I have a friend whose parenting philosophy is that it is the Old Testament from birth- 12 and the New Testament from 13 on) and I believe that we need to teach our children to obey authority. We also are not raising dogs. It isn't as simple as exercise, affection and discipline.
As parents, we are training their hearts. We are helping them learn to muddy through life. How to handle emotions, desires, and disappointments.
We are not just striving for simple obedience.
If we could have kept every command we would have no need for a savior. But we all fail and we all need a savior. We can not raise our kids to be perfect and have no need for help. Nor can we raise them assume that obedience = perfection. Our righteousness is found in Christ alone.
I also want to stress that as a parent we can not place our value in the way that our kids act.
It is not as easy as raising a dog.
We do the best we can (give them the exercise, discipline and affection), point them to God, show them our need to for God and well, pray!
We all need a savior!
Thank you God for saving me!
Grateful that God entrusted me with these cuties to love.
Final thought: As I was running I was listening to Chris Tomlin and Phil Wickham's "Thank you God for Saving Me" from Chris Tomlin's Burning Lights CD... so good. Go download it!
